Finally live now! Coping with anxiety.

At last I launched it all and there's no turning back!

Zebra Knees

11/24/20232 min read

Anyone else with anxiety? I heard of a study linking hypermobility and anxiety. Kind of makes sense to me. Hypermobility means joints that move more than normal. If you are walking along like you have been your whole life and suddenly your kneecap takes off and you fall on your face it can have life changing consequences. Your plans for the week at least are trashed. What about work or school? What about all my responsibilities and plans? What will it cost as far as money, opportunities, etc. Is there permanent damage? Should I go to the doctor? Do I need surgery? If it's the first time why did it happen? Will it happen again? Do I have to stop playing sports or working at my job? Knee dislocations are far from normal events and are anxiety producing. It is a complex anxiety, not wondering what if this or that happened, but what if that crazy thing happens again.

So some of us are prone to anxiety. There's something so final and stressful about publishing videos and other creations that really spiked the anxiety in me. I pour over most things I create and pick at them and keep seeing flaws when I think I'm done. Quite often they look alright to me until I hit publish and then I see something wrong. So for months nothing I have been working on has been published. There's always something. I made my first video months ago. I don't even know where it is now. I picked it apart and no matter the style, the voice I used, it was never going to be good enough. But what is good enough? Does it have to be my face, my voice, professional writing and all the things that I hear YouTube likes and promotes? I didn't start any of this trying to be a star YouTuber. I had to change my thinking. Good enough is helping, encouraging, and supporting someone, right? Acting with love and good intentions. I still will never be good enough but I hope what I can put out there will be helpful.

The other night I told myself this is it. I'm publishing a video tonight or else. I got mad and frustrated with my technology and abilities and woke up on the couch in the morning. Still a little mad. I still hate video editing programs. But hey, that next night, that was the night I made my first two videos that are now live! I stayed up half the night when I was alone and even though I had to work first thing in the morning I finally accomplished my goal that hopefully can make a difference in someone's life. I finally published this website, my first paper product (I have several books ready to publish) and I'm up to 30 designs in my shop. I have applications in to promote more products that can help my group. Don't give up people!